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Mar. 7th, 2011

3-7-11

 ...no more eating for me. 

Jan. 5th, 2011

(no subject)

 I fucking hate senior year. 

Jan. 4th, 2011

Back baby ;D

First day back and i and i already feel weak...my muscles are sore and i am so dizzy..here we go again!
...and in all honesty it finally feels good :) i knew i had it in me. 
I had a talk with my friend about this all and she made me promise i wouldn't do it...i lied :(

*sigh* -____-

Aug. 6th, 2010

what did i get myself into?

I am a cutter, anorexic, and bulimic...when did all of this happen?
This is my past present, and maybe future...
Fuck.
Although i am "recovering" and havent made myself vomit in months doesn't change the fact that i ever did it...and who knows i might do it again D:
and the stupid fact that i haven't cut in 8 months doesn't change anything!
Because at this moment i am tempted.
Lets not forget the fact that i still starve myself and when i don't i hate myself for being WEAK.
WTFFF AND I HAVE TO LIVE LIKE THIS FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.
....ugh.

Jul. 11th, 2010

Helloo (:

On july 4th i was a cow and weighed 163. It is now July 11th and i am currently 151 <3
I will be 120.
I'm happy when i lose weight (: although i am dizzy, tired, and sometimes cranky. But thats okay (:
I also love my motivation, my boyfriend (:
I fast without even realizing it!
187 cut free.
Life is currently good (:

May. 5th, 2010

(no subject)

I really hope i am not falling into the arms of depression again, someone save me ):

Apr. 26th, 2010

umm

Blahh Blahhh Blahh
Today was decent :\ but i am sooo upset with myself.
I have been eating normal for the past few days and i don't know what to do.
It's not that i lost motivation because i am very motivated and i have many possesions to remind me of why i am on this journey...but i guess i lost hope? or idk i'm just tired of starving and doing great then binging back to where i started. i'm tired of all this crap and i just want it off.
But just because its late right now and i am exhausted i know tomorrow when i wake up i will have blooming energy and i will fast tomorrow (:
So goodnight ladies and gents. <3
Good luck, think thin, and stay safe!

PS. 111 days cut free!

Apr. 14th, 2010

Posted using TxtLJ (http://www.livejournal.com/manage/sms/)

Well today was suckish.....but as I thought about it for a couple hours I decided no way is it over! The fight has just begun :) tomorrow will be amazing!

Apr. 13th, 2010

(no subject)

Hmmmmm life has beeen difficult. =|
i lose weight then i dont. It makes me want to scream.
I hate making myself throw-up and when i think about stuff i feel insane...for example this whole week my friend was ill from catching the stomach bug. She has been throwing up constantly and she lost over 8 lbs
and all i could think was not "I hope she gets better soon and i hope i don't catch it..." No instead i TRIED catching it. (fail ): )
I rather throw up a lot from being sick than making myself throw up.
It's hard....but i must say i do love the feeling of being light headed afterwards..its the only way i know i did it right....weird huh...

Other than that it has been 98 days since i have last cut (:

Feb. 24th, 2010

competition!

It's always great to have a friend (:
Me and Natasha are doing a competetion to who can lose more weight by march 14!
(i'm going shopping)
Its so on!
fasting allllll the way (: <3
I love being in control!

If you want to text let me know!
Ana & mia buddies are needed!

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